Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Fall Classes for Men (LOL!)...I love guys, but this IS funny!

Fall Classes for Men at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, October 22nd 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Falling Down...

LITERALLY!- the concrete and bricks at work on the sidewalk are uneven.... and low and behold, I fell and tripped on a raised corner of the concrete. Talk about feeling like that old lady on the commercial who says "I've fallen and I can't get up!"...I was determined to get up even though it hurt like hades! I had to take time off work and couldn't use my hands (because I used them first to break my fall- it sounded like a bellysmacker in the water!), so I just sat in the recliner all day and dozed off and on in between pre-recorded DVR shows. I now can tell you every bizarre food that Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain have eaten in the last 6 episodes...who won the Cereal Bridges 2 Food Network Challenge...who has been Chopped and which Models of the Runway and Project Runway Designers I like best. It was a sad and sorry existence and a stupid way to be able to be at home. I would have even preferred ironing clothes to that. And to make it worse, I have several swaps that were due on SCS and I had to PM my 4 hostesses to let them know, that while I am NOT flaking, I would be later than the due date, due to my inability to pick stuff up and use crafting tools!!...You know...we take our bodies for granted most days and never even think about how intricately God has created us to be and in that same regard, how it is a miracle that our bodies over time can heal themselves. But, if you ever get bored, try not using anything but your fingertips and you'll get a taste of my latest frustration! Stay tuned later this evening for gruesome pix!

The Autumn Months Splendor

The Autumn Months Melody
The hot summer days are gone and rolled by
The cool autumn months have once again arrived
The autumn majestic spirit permeates the land
It is another new day of autumn
The far sun above the horizon sends its rays and gentle warmth
on the valleys, mountains and hamlets
Nature has dressed in beautiful colors
The jolly trees are painted with red, yellow and brown
The autumn trees adorn the valleys and mountains that hug the skies
It is a portrait of panoramic dazzle
The brisk wind blows over the meadows
The cool wind sweeps the plains and fields
The tall trees dance and bow gently in grace
The tree branches hiss, swing and sway
The shivering leaves quiver with the wind
The green pastures are dotted with a mosaic
of dried brownish scattered leaves
Joining autumn happy symphony
The singing joyous birds, the playful beavers
The swimming silver fish in the water streams
All bring a solemn joy
The sun slowly climbs the immense skies
The autumn patchy clouds cast their shadows on the peaceful land
All painting an awesome picture of beauty, love and harmony
How beautiful are the melodies and splendor of the autumn months!

Sherif Monem

Back to School Salute to Teachers and School Staff Across the Globe!

Teacher Applicant

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:

“Let me see if I've got this right.

'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.

'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

'You want me to do all this and then you tell me... ”I CAN'T PRAY?!?!?!”

Scrapbooking/Crafting Day!!!!

I just posted one of Julia Child's famous recipes to get you inspired over the weekend (those of you who will be home and can cook all day)...I can't tackle this one today, but do intend to make it when the snow flies and I'll let you know how it turns out. I am getting ready to make Gracie's Biscuits to take to my bi-monthly scrapbook and crafting day with my homegirls! :)

Gracie's real name is Nancy Wright and I had the pleasure of going to church with her, her husband John and daughter Stacey years ago at HPC. The church motto was "Love Grows Here" and it certainly did! Gracie and Bud (John) were elders in the church and had raised animals and horses on their farm their whole life. They were definately hard workers. Stacey and I shared a love for vintage things and she even had decorated her bathroom with really cool vintage clothing, etc...and the effect was spectacular (wish I would have thought back then to take a picture of it)...anywho, I was trusted enough as part of her adopted family to have her secret Buttermilk Biscuit recipe. And while I can't share the recipe because she asked me not to give it to anyone, I will post a picture later of how they look when they come out of the oven.

They smell soooo good baking and they are so light and fluffy (probably the combination of buttermilk and baking powder)...and I think of and remember fondly the fun times that we shared in Gracie's kitchen, as she taught me so many things in that farm house. I love them dearly and we run into each other every so often...but writing this post, I realize that I need to keep in touch with them better before they are no longer here...because as Gracie used to say "I ain't no spring chicken!"

So I dedicate these biscuits to you Gracie!...thanks for the memories! :)

**UPDATE:The recipe was such a secret that I couldn't find it and had to make biscuits with a different recipe. Everyone liked them, but I thought they sucked. I later found Gracie's recipe and will be making these in a few weeks the next time we meet...will post a pic then!

You gotta LOVE this recipe!

Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon Recipe - ABC News

Shared via AddThis

Rest in Peace Julia Child

Bon Appetit!

I went with my best friend to see Julie and Julia the night it came out here (August 7th) and have finally gotten around to posting about it! I LOVED EVERY PART OF IT!!!! It was so cool to watch Julia Child on The PBS Network when she had the show "The French Chef". She used to place whole tuna fish and other assorted large portions of meat and would teach you how to prepare the complete dish from start to finish, including how to cut the section of meat that you needed.

As I mentioned in a previous post below, I love Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci together...and they played the parts of Julia and her husband Paul so well. I won't spoil anything for you if you have not yet seen the movie...but it kept me in stitches most of the time and even made me cry in a few parts.

To tackle someone's entire cookbook of 524 recipes in 365 days is a feat that I have to admit I would never inflict upon myself....but you gotta respect Julie Powell for taking on this task and learning about who she was in the process and midst of it all. And she was and is a blogger/writer, which made it even better. You can still find some of her old blog posts on the Internet by typing in The Julie/Julia Project.

I LOVE to cook....LOVE to entertain...and LOVE to bring friends and family together, and even though I do not have a copy of "Mastering the Art of French Cooking", I do have "Baking with Julia" that needs dusted off and I do believe that a few recipes are calling my name....when I whip them up, I'll let you know how they turned out. Until then....

BON APPETIT! (in my best Julia Child accent!)

Cleaning Day!

faAt noon today, I am going to help my friend clean her humble abode. She was recently divorced because her louse of a husband who has cheated on her numerous times over the years walked in one day and told her that he didn't love her anymore. Really!?!...could you not have figured that out years ago, you crackhead!?...he isn't a crackhead, but that's the closest thing that I could think of at the moment, without going off on a man-bashing tyrade!

Anyhoo...she had to go from a multi-room house to a 3 room apartment, so as you can imagine, we have a LOT of purging, organizing and cleaning to do. She says that it's hard for her to have to let me see her "mess"...but I told her, "Hey! Think nothing of it, that's what friends are for." And I truly believe that she would drop everything in a heartbeat to come to my rescue if I needed her...so I get to reap the blessing in disguise of knowing that I am helping her to get the interior of her house shiny and new. And if you think about it, nobody likes anyone else to see their "messes"...if they did, the dishes would never get shoved in the oven or dishwasher, or the clothes in the closet that were on the floor...or the other things that people do when they get unexpected guests and friends drop by.


I have always likened the interior of one's soul to the condition of your home. What I mean by that is, to me at my house, I am always in a state of some sort or another of organization and "tidying up"...therefore it reflects an outward view to the world, who happens to "drop by"...what the inner condition of my spiritual life is like at that moment. (Which always fluxuates between spick and span and dusty)...just like my struggle this side of heaven to be like an alien in a foreign land.

For me, I am always in a constant state of "tidying up"...maybe I yelled at my kids or hubby that day...maybe I was so mad that I dropped the *F*Bomb...maybe I was so tired that the laundry just sat in the basket until it was all wrinkly and then I got mad all over again. Whatever the case may be, it's like that with my walk with God too. I get mad and I yell at Him "Now would be a GREAT time to come down here and take me home, God!"...(I have never dropped the *F*Bomb at Him)...but that laundry basket metaphor...now that's a good one...so if I am not in His Word or don't do what He tells me to do, then my soul becomes all shriveled up and wrinkly, just like those clothes!...and I do believe that God is my Father...so I talk to Him as I were His daughter and we have that "parent/child" dialog most of the time.

I am working on how to organize...(or get rid of)...all of the "stuff" that I have accumulated over my 40 years on this planet. Some of the stuff is clothes that I keep as I convince myself that I will someday be that size 6 that I once was...instead of the size 14-16 that I am now. You would think that as I struggle with an underactive thyroid that I would just get rid of them...which I am, but it has not been an easy road, I can tell you that. It's almost as if it is a personal mourning over what I once had, and in a way...who I once was.

I am getting ready to switch doctors because I feel that mine is not even keeping up on when I have to get my blood work done, as I always have to call him and then he says, "Oh yeah, you should have had that done last month."...DUH!??? Everyone keeps telling me to seek out an Endocronologist...a doc who deals with the thyroid and the immune system...so I am toying that idea around currently.

But just like my house and the inner condition of my soul...I must constantly search and seek out the "better things" and the "specialists" that God has set before me, in order to be walking down the narrow road. Boy, does that wide road get confusing at times!

So, for me....I get to be blessed today, knowing that I am helping a close friend "air out her dirty laundry" ...and free the fetters that have kept her soul locked up fo several months now...getting your hands dirty by helping out a fellow sister in Christ...it doesn't get much better than that! :)