Fall Classes for Men (LOL!)...I love guys, but this IS funny!

Fall Classes for Men at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, October 22nd 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Sometimes Life Ain't Always What It's Cracked Up To Be...

I am generally a fun-loving, easy-going person by nature, and have even been referred to by my friend Jenny as a "cartoon character". But somedays, do you ever wonder how you got where you are? I mean sometimes...life just "ain't" (yes, ain't!) what it's cracked up to be. Cracked...would be the logical word for it sometimes!

This morning my husband had an explosive outburst of rage that seemed to come out of nowhere and it was directed straight at me! (Actually most of my bi-weekly paychecks are direct deposited into our joint checking account and he only gives me the checkbook when it's time to go to the grocery store...and then, I have to listen to him complain about how much I spent and what I bought! I can take a lot, I mean A LOT! before I get mad and come undone). So, I guess the fact that I tried to take $20 out of his wallet this morning is what set him off. So, in all actuality, I guess you could even say that I caused that explosive outburst in him. And...I guess the fact that I said to him,(after he told me to shut up), that I have a "constitutional freedom of speech"... more than likely infuriated him even more. (There was some feeling of satisfaction in saying it, and knowing that he would have never thought to say it, that made me feel better).

I just get sooooo tired of having to ASK for money and explain WHY I want it and WHAT I am going to do with it!- I scrapbook!... I read...and we have a teenager!- what do you think that I am going to spend it on, genius!?!

I can see...(and live it most days)...why the #1 thing that couples fight over and marriages end over, is money. Being a Christian,(you would have never known it this morning!)...it gets hard to stay on the course and not fall off the wagon. I really can understand how people can get so mad at each other that they walk away or hurt each other. Before I knew Christ and accepted him as my personal Savior, I could have really hit my husband over the head with a cast iron skillet and never thought twice about it!(really!)

Life...as we are told, by Christ...IS going to be hard, and it is going to be filled with trials and tribulations...and I guess even the occasional frying pan! :)