Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Brains and other things...

Well, it's official...Ginny has brain cancer. After a CT Scan, an MRI and a Colonoscopy, the docs have conversed and have stated that the cancer in her colon would be treatable, but due to the 4 tumors on her brain, they aren't going to be concerned with radiation/chemo to that area. She has started radiation treatments because she wants to try to live long enough to see Donya's baby come into the world. Our niece, Donya, is having a boy.

I am getting better...and should be well enough by this weekend to go and visit Ginny for the first time since we both were in the hospital. I am glad that I just had to get a breathing treatment and after an allergic reaction to an antibiotic and a nubulizer machine and home treatments, am able to breathe again. I struggled with the fact that we were both sick at the same time, because my husband and I have been together for almost 21 years now and my MIL is just like my mom. I wanted to be there for her and to hug her and hold her hand and tell her that I love her. But, so far...I have had to do all of that via the phone.

The brain is a very funny tells our entire body what to do, how to move and how to act. When I watch tv shows like House, Three Rivers and Grey's Anatomy, you are declared "dead" and ready for organ donation when your brain functions cease. I wonder how brain cancer works. I know that sounds dumb, but I really do. Does it eat away at your brain, or do the tumors just grow bigger and crowd out the cranial space? I am not sure how it works, but I do know that Ginny was given a diagnosis of 3-6 weeks without treatment and 6 mos with treatment by her Oncologist and about a month by the surgeon.

I hate it when mortal people put a "timeline" on life! I know why it's done...I get it...but I still detest the whole thing because no one is God. Only God Himself knows when our time on this side of Heaven will be over, because only God alone has numbered the hairs on our heads and the days of our existence on this planet we call Earth.

I had to go to the apartment last night and help her grandaughters,(my nieces), go through her belongings. That is never an easy thing! Ginny and Donnie's sister Sue, had set aside some things that she wanted us to have and to look through to see if we would like to have them. That process is a funny thing as well. You don't really want anything, except maybe some photos or something small to remember them by...but it really can be touching to see what they want you to have. I went home with photos of my MIL and my daughter at the Pumpkin Patch over the years that she had kept in a small "Brag Book", some sweatshirts of our local school system (which my MIL had worked for several years as a lunch cashier when my husband was in Junior High and High School, and our daughters attended/attend)...some recipes...a cake plate, some kitchen utensils, and the thing that I had actually asked for- a glass plate with a domed lid.

This plate is what I fondly refer to as "the cheeseball plate". My MIL can make a mean cheeseball and she has brought one or two of these to every family holiday since my hubby and I have been together.That's a long time...and a LOT of cheeseballs...but everytime I see that plate or one of those cream cheese, dried beef, green onion cheeseballs, I smile and think of my darling Ginny. So you can bet that every holiday family get-together, I will be making the cheeseball and bringing it on the cheeseball plate.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

When it Rains sometimes POURS!!! a Christian who loves the Lord and believes that Jesus is her Savior, brother that she never had, and best friend...I sometimes struggle when people remind me that we are to THANK GOD FOR ALL THINGS. I know what this means, and in my heart I know that this statement is true and just. But sometimes it just mixes with the humanness of this side of Heaven and leaves my heart and head a bit this week.

Donnie's mom, who was doing so good after her cancer treatments, is in the hospital currently with what they thought might be pneumonia. She was having trouble swallowing and they thought it might have been from her meds. They scoped her throat and did a CT Scan and nothing was wrong. So they decided to do an MRI of her entire throat and head. Donnie called me this morning, teary, to let me know that his sister and mom were waiting on her Oncologist to get there, because his sister, who is a nurse and the radiologist both stated that it look like she may have brain cancer. Donnie said that she had started to say things a few weeks ago that didn't go together and didn't make sense...I am waiting on a call back again now for further confirmation.

This comes on top of me, being off work due to sickness and having to take Paige to the doctor, who was not feeling well. (You can believe that she got the FluMist while we were there!)--- We are both on meds at this point. I had to go to the ER yesterday morning because I had a fever and couldn't breath... and wound up having to get a chest x-ray and a breathing treatment for Acute Bronchitis. They sent me home with an antibiotic (and I am allergic to just about every one out there!) and a steroid. After 2 doses of both, today, sitting at work, I break out into a full flushed face, neck, chest and throat, with a VERY red rash. I called my Doctor's office.....(3 1/2 hours ago...hellooo!!!????) and they said to quit taking both meds and they would send my info back to the doctor and call me back...would that be BEFORE or AFTER you close for the day???!!! God love 'em! I know they are busy, but you would think that an allergic reaction to medication would somehow seem important to someone else besides me.

I know that Paige and I will get well...and no matter what happens with Donnie's mom, that she will be brought to a place of wellness too...even if that means that she is soon to be made whole again and be staring into my brother's face and surrounded by his loving just gets so hard at times, especially times like this, when everyone is sick including thank God for the deck that we have been handed as of late. (I wish I could find the owner, I would hand back the deck!) But I will once again trust in the promises that God has made very clear... that He will NEVER leave or forsake us... that His love is unconditional... that He is ALWAYS with us, even to the end...and that He WILL made us whole and His perfect timing. For these things and much, much more...I am truly THANKFUL. Maybe it's just my job to cling to Him right now and crawl into His lap and let Him love on that I can feel well enough to love on the rest of my family...